


Friends, Lovers or Nothing

by Lost_xoxo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, References to Depression, Unrequited Love, past chanhun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 05:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17053790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_xoxo/pseuds/Lost_xoxo
Summary: Baekhyun realises that his relationship with Chanyeol might be flawed but it’s still perfect.Sehun and Jongin are just fuck buddies or thats what Sehun thinks.Kyungsoo is living his everyday life the way he is expected to...which is a complete lie.





	Friends, Lovers or Nothing

**Chanyeol and Baekhyun**

“We booked for a non smoking room and now you are saying is that our room is on the smoking zone? I am not going to stay in a floor where people smoke cancer sticks for fun” Baekhyun lashed out in his accented English and broken Japanese.

The front office staff standing looked apologetic.

Chanyeol sighed tiredly. They had just gotten off the flight and came straight to the hotel. He couldn’t care less if the staff messed up their booking he just needed a bed to sleep off the fatigue. But Baekhyun was just being his usual cynical self.

A guy dressed in a crisp suit and warm smile came walking towards them.

“We are so sorry for the inconvenience sir, but we have been able to get you a room on the non smoking floor, but there is no standard room left only a deluxe room” the guy spoke in fluent Korean. Probably the staff had called for back up.

Chanyeol peeked to see the name badge on the guy’s uniform which read ‘Kim Jongdae’ so he was Korean.

“So now you are trying to upsell after you mess up our booking...is this some kinda joke? Here I thought Crown Plaza was a respectful hotel” Baekhyun huffed pointing his finger to the Korean guy.

“We apologise sir, but this is peak season and we are fully booked...all we have is a deluxe room and it’s garden facing too” he still spoke with his customer service like voice and the sweet smile plastered to his face. Chanyeol almost felt bad for him.

“To hell with your garde-“ before Baekhyun could throw anymore tantrums or even worse ask for the manager Chanyeol cut him off, “Whatever it is we will take it”

Baekhyun’s face immediately hardened but at least he chose to stay quiet and not start a fight with his boyfriend in front of the hotel staff.

After completing their check-in process which went on quite fast Jongdae escorted them to their room which was in 3rd floor. The bell boy followed with their luggage placed on the bell hop trolley.

After showing around the room and other necessary amenities, Kim Jongdae handed the key card to Chanyeol wishing them a good stay and left.

Baekhyun already locked himself in the bathroom so Chanyeol dived into the soft bed and lay flat on his back. They hadn’t been able to take a break for the last 6 months due to their work pressure. This vacation was much needed for the both of them,and Chanyeol always wanted to visit Japan so they finally settled for Fukuoka.

Baekhyun came out of the bathroom wearing the hotel bathrobe. Which was a bit oversized for him. He pushed his slightly wet dark hair back with his fingers and sat on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t said a word since the room incident in the hotel lobby.

One side of the robe was falling off his shoulder exposing his unblemished milky skin dotted with water droplets. Chanyeol could smell the familiar grape fruit body wash that Baekhyun used and it always made him feel intoxicated and heady.

Chanyeol slowly got up and started kissing Baekhyun’s shoulder and the back of his neck...licking the droplets and tasting his skin. He could feel the other’s body shivering from the contact of his own warm lips on his cold skin.

“Go freshen up” Baekhyun’s voice trembled.

“No” he kept pressing lingering kisses on Baekhyun’s back, pulling down the robe even lower.

Baekhyun knew that his resistance was on the verge of crumbling, he turned around and draped his arms over the taller males neck. Chanyeol smiled, his hands venturing around Baekhyun’s body. His plump lips brushing along the others pink one’s.

“Kiss me already” Baekhyun said huskily.

Chanyeol leaned and claimed Baekhyun’s mouth, a groan parted the others lips and Chanyeol snaked his tongue inside Baekhyun’s mouth stroking his tongue in dominance. Just the way Baekhyun liked it.

                          ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

**Kyungsoo and Heejin**

 

“We can visit the Marine world, and the food market now in the morning also there are a bunch of art and folk museums....you like those kind of stuff don’t you?” Heejin spoke her eyes glued to the iPad in her hand, scrolling through the tourist spots and her social media account simultaneously. 

“What stuff?” Kyungsoo asked looking out of the huge hotel window which over looked the city.

“You know the boring stuff” she replied flatly.

Kyungsoo chuckled to himself. Of course Heejin would think he was boring, but there was so more to him other than the soft spoken obedient son, future owner of a company, and a accommodating fiancé. But Heejin wouldn’t know because she chose not to see just like everyone else around him. He was just there to play his part in the drama which was called his life.

“Yah I like the boring stuff” Kyungsoo watched the small bird sitting on the window sill.

“I knew it..anyway we are gonna visit the Fukuoka tower in the evening, it looks best after sunset even the hotel staff suggested. We should take some pictures, my friends are pestering me” she laughed probably reading something.

She has a nice laugh, she is very pretty too, with her long black silky hair, perfectly toned body, almond eyes, and plush red lips. She is already a well known designer. Everything a man would want...except Kyungsoo didn’t want her but he was still going to marry her. Because that’s how it worked. Want, desires didn’t matter. Needs did. This marriage was needed for his fathers company. Who was he to say no?

“Sure sounds fun”

“I can’t believe your secretary booked us into a 4 star hotel, and not even in the suite? If my dad comes to know he is going to be really mad at me”

“It’s not so bad...we booked in the last minute. I like this room” he watched the bird fly into the clear blue sky. He almost felt envious of it. The bird had so much freedom yet he always felt like he was trapped in a cage.

Turning around he walked towards Heejin and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I swear you are too lenient and nice to your employees Soo, they are going to take advantage of you” there was that tone in her voice which made him feel like he was incompetent underachieving. Maybe he was but he still was trying his best.

“Anyway I am going for a shower I have already booked the hotel car service, it will pick us up within half an hour” without even waiting for his reply she left for the bathroom.

Kyungsoo was already dressed so he decided to take a look around the hotel. The room was starting to feel stuffy.

Coming out of the room he walked towards the end of the floor. Reaching the elevator landing he was about to press the button to go down,when the elevator opened in front of him and a guy walked out suddenly almost colliding with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo abruptly took a step back startled, the guy took out his ear phones, he was dressed in a black sleeveless tank top which showed off his toned muscled arms, a track pant accentuating his long legs, sweat dripping from his blonde fringe.

He looked up, “Sorry I get so into the music I didn’t notice” his voice sounded a little breathless, gesturing the ear phones in his hands, he smiled brightly. He looked beautiful even with the sweat glistening his face.

“It’s alright” Kyungsoo mumbled. His thoughts were muddled inside his mind.

“See you around” throwing another bright smile which was mischievous and pure at the same time he walked towards the array of rooms on the same floor and went inside the one situated at the farthest corner.

 

Kyungsoo stood there closing his eyes so he could relive the smile over and over again.

 

                         ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

**Jongin and Sehun**

 

Entering his room Jongin hunched down on the floor, surveying the mini bar he took out a Tropicana pack and took a swig of the orange juice. It tasted sour but he needed something to quench his thirst after the long run.

Sehun watched him from the bed still half wrapped in the duvet. “You went for a run even in here? Really?” His lazy ass could not even comprehend the idea.

Placing the juice back in the fridge, Jongin stood up, “well it takes a lot to keep this in shape you know” he smirked pointing to his own body with his fingers.

Sehun just rolled his eyes in response.

“Why are we here in Fukuoka anyway? We are missing out on our dance classes...Yixing will be really mad.”

“Well Yixing can manage without us for two days, and my dad is paying for the expenses so who cares just enjoy the vacation” he sank down on the mattress laying flat beside Sehun who was now sitting upright.

“What did you tell your dad?”

“That I am going with a friend”

“Who I fuck sometimes” Sehun added and nudged Jongin’s thigh playfully.

“No I kept that important detail to myself” Jongin laughed. And turned towards Sehun, he propped his elbow and rested his head on his palm to get a better view of the boy in front of him.

Sehun looked adorable in his messed up bed hair, slightly puffed eyes and red lips.

Jongin removed the duvet off sehun in one swift movement and slid his hand underneath the others tshirt feeling the taut muscles caressing the skin.

He got up and moved closer to Sehun and wrapped his arms around his tiny waist, and straddled him by shifting his leg to other side of Sehun caging him between his legs.

Jongin brought his face closer to him and whispered,” there is a reason I brought you here but it’s a surprise” he titled his head to kiss Sehun’s lips but the other cupped his cheeks in his hand, slightly smiling he bit his ear lobe which was Jongin’s weakness. He let out a soft moan.

But to his surprise and annoyance Sehun pushed him off of him, and stood up “ go shower you are sweaty and gross...I am ordering breakfast”

Jongin pouted but Sehun was already dialing the room service and having no choice he got up and took of his tshirt and threw it on the floor and walked off to the bathroom making a show of it to Sehun. Who raised his eye brow and grinned. His eyes lingering on Jongin’s back muscles and non existent ass.

               

                         ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

 **Kyungsoo and Heejin**

 

After their day trip to the places that Heejin wanted to visit and Kyungsoo accompanied her just like he was supposed to,Heejin refused to eat lunch outside so they both headed towards the hotel’s infamous Chinese restaurant TAO-LI.

Walking by the huge outdoor swimming pool, Kyungsoo’s eyes fell upon a particular guy who he had met in the morning near the elevator who was now laying on one of the pool chairs with his shades on and reading a book. His sun kissed skin looked absolutely stunning. A tall fair guy came out of the pool, wiping the water off his body with a towel and sat beside him. But Kyungsoo’s eyes didn’t leave the blonde boy. 

“If I didn’t know you were super straight I would’ve thought you are ogling that guy wearing shades he is good looking though” Heejin muttered while typing on her phone.

“Yah he is” his words came out in a breathy whisper.

“Cmon Soo you didn’t just check out a guy because he is good looking it’s really weird.” He could feel her eyes on him questioningly.

“I was just saying in general..you are right it’s weird am sorry I don’t know why I said that.” He tore his gaze away from the pool.

“Hmm....this is the restaurant, let’s go” Heejin dragged his arm and led him to the restaurant and away from something which was weird and wrong. Boys weren’t supposed call other boys good looking. Boys weren’t supposed to like boys it didn’t work that way. Kyungsoo knew it...he was told by his father with a slap to his cheek during his high school. It was a reminder to never deter from those words.

                          ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

 **Sehun and Jongin**

 

“Shouldn’t we be hitting the nightclubs and getting smashed instead of sitting in the balcony like some boring old couple?” Sehun asked as he popped a chocolate in his mouth from the room amenity tray.

“We can go to nightclub tomorrow but for tonight I have something planned” Jongin replied a little nervously. Actually he was a lot more nervous inside but this was Sehun right he didn’t need to worry.

“I hope that surprise includes alcohol and a lot food because that shit you ordered for lunch was awful” Sehun made a disgusted face.

“That was a Caesar salad and it’s wasn’t awful Sehun” Jongin lowered his head and bit into the white chocolate Sehun was holding.

“Hey” Sehun protested and quickly ate the rest. “You really need to stop making me eat those things I am not a health freak like you I would rather die happily eating junk food thank you very much”

Laughing Jongin got up from his chair and went inside the room, taking a deep breath he took out theChardonnay bottle he ordered when Sehun was sleeping. Grabbing two stemmed wine glass and a wine opener he went back to the balcony.

The night meant the city was lit by the neon lights of the tall buildings, clubs and bars, shinning on the rain-kissed sidewalks. Jongin watched Sehun now leaning on the railing of the balcony, the glow of the moon light making his sharp features look soft and serene. His shirt fluttering in the light breeze. Jongin wanted to remember this moment...because this felt perfect. 

He placed the glasses on the small coffee table, Sehun turned around hearing the noise “Finally”

Jongin held the bottle a away from his face, unfolding the corkscrew he inserted it in the cork and twisted it until it got inside, holding the neck of the bottle with a firm grip he dislodged the cork with the lever of the opener...finally when it came undone he opened the cork with the small knife accompanied by the pop sound. He was careful enough not to spill he had done this innumerable times, his dad threw a party almost every other week.

Sehun clapped his hands in excitement. Which made Jongin smile he poured the fizzy pale amber liquid in the glass and offered to the other.

Sehun swirled the glass and took a sip. Closing his eyes he let his mouth absorb the slight oaky tangy flavour. When he opened his eyes he saw Jongin standing close to him, his arm wrapped around his waist lightly.

“Sehun I need to tell you something” Jongin traced the other’s  lips lightly with the tip of his finger. Sehun pouted slightly, and It made Jongin urge to bite it, to kiss it, but he needed to say this. 

“ I love you...I don’t know how why when it happened but all I know is that I am in love with you”

It was a strange feeling kind of frightening too.It was the first time he had really fallen for someone. He was so accustomed to the one night stands and flings but Sehun came along breaking all his barriers. And now he was hopelessly in love with this boy.

“Is this a joke?” Sehun looked at him quizzically.

“No no I am serious I am in love with you Sehun...since a long time I just didn’t know how to tell you” Jongin could feel his heartbeat rising every second.

Sehun’s face hardened. He gulped the wine in one swig and placed the palm of his hand on Jongin’s chest and shoved at him lightly.

Shaking his head he said, “ No you are not...this is not what we talked about. You were not supposed to fall in love.”

“I don’t care what we talked about Sehun, I am telling you that I love you...don’t you feel anything for me?” Jongin asked his voice shaking.

“Of course I like you why would we fuck otherwise?” The breeze blew his dark locks away from his forehead.

“Fuck?” Just the word landed in Jongin’s stomach like a nail “Is that  what you think we were doing all this time? Just fuck?”

Sehun was rooted to his spot his eyes cold, his face didnt gave away any spec of emotions.

Jongin tugged on Sehun’s arm, and made him look into his eyes demanding ”Tell me Sehun?” 

Sehun jerked his hand away from his hold and started walking towards the room,grabbing the key card he swiped it in the slot and opened the door quickly but he halted in his step.

There was a tall guy smiling at another short guy who was talking animatedly with his hand gestures. They were standing in front of a door a few feet away from Sehun and Jongin’s room.

Jongin called exhaustedly “Sehun please come inside”

Hearing their voice the tall man turned around.

Sehun’s breath constricted seeing the face. It was him. Their eyes locked for a second.

But the other guy already pulled him inside and the door closed loudly like it was shut directly on Sehun’s face. 

“Chanyeol” it was a mere whisper but Jongin heard it perfectly. 

“Is that your ex?”

“I need to go” mumbling Sehun started walking.

“Please comeback we can talk about this” sighing Jongin followed the other.

“Leave me alone Jongin”

 

Jongin gulped down a sob standing in the corridor. Is this how heartbreaks were supposed to feel? Like swallowing a razor blade cutting his insides into pieces.

 

                           ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

 **Chanyeol and Baekhyun**  

 

After spending the morning and entire afternoon rolling around in bed, in the evening Chanyeol decided to drag Baekhyun out for a walk around the hotel. 

It was supposed to be their date night. 

The slight drizzle gently pattering the ground. The orange neon city lights were reflecting on the small silver puddles decorated on the road. Baekhyun looked up to the black velvety sky stretching his palm feeling the soft rain hitting his face and skin.

And then Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a smile that just seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushed through him.

He walked towards him forgetting everything and kissed the droplets from his lips, and he could feel Baekhyun’s lips smiling against his own. The shorter male swept Chanyeol’s hair aside and kissed him just over the collarbone. Thepassersby melted away, the traffic too, and the moment was their.

Breaking away they slowly walk to the subway station hand in hand.

The view from the Fukuoka Tower was spread beneath them, a network of roads and rail sprawled below, mazes of cul-de-sacs, houses like the tiny models on an architects street plan, expanses of green, neat rectangular parks, lakes shimmering.

“It’s beautiful” Baekhyun whispered breathily mesmerised by the scene.

“And you didn’t want to come out of the room” Chanyeol replied grinning. Before Baekhyun could reply his phone started buzzing.

It was from work, Chanyeol peeped over Baekhyun’s shoulder, “Let it ring you are on vacation Baek”

Baekhyun’s thumb hovered over the green icon and eventually he clicked on it taking the call much to Chanyeol’s displeasure.

Chanyeol waited and watched Baekhyun now looking serious and his forehead scrunched up ,he was a workaholic. It was a surprise that he had been able to convince him to come for this trip. 

Baekhyun walked back to him shoving his phone inside his jacket, looking apologetic, “We need to get back to the hotel...I have a case to work on” 

Chanyeol looked away from him.He could feel Baekhyun’s cold slim fingers playing with his warm ones. The feeling sending tiny jolts through his skin but he refused to face him it was rather childish even he knew.

“Hey if we get back now i will be done with the work early and we can do something latter” there was an unsaid mischievousness in Baekhyun’s tone which the taller was completely familiar with. 

“Fine” Chanyeol muttered.

By the time they came down from the tower the rain had stopped. Stars lit the sky like snow-flakes in the night.

The fluttering wind blew Chanyeol’s black hair into a tousled mane. Baekhyun reached out and fixed his hair which made Chanyeol’s face break into a smile. He never had the power to stay angry with him any way.

Reaching in front of their room, Baekhyun kept talking about how one of his client refused to take him seriously as a lawyer because apparently he looked like a flower boy.

Chanyeol was about to insert the key card when he heard a name he didn’t expect to hear ever again in his life. Instinctively he turned around hoping that the name belonged to someone else and not the person who had broken his heart.

But there was that face,he looked paler than before, his cheek bones more prominent eyes eyes more glassy or was it Chanyeol’s imagination? He was staring right back at him.

Baekhyun pulled him inside probably he had taken the card from his hand and opened the door,Chanyeol was to absorbed to understand anything.

Baekhyun took off his scarf and jacket throwing it on the sofa, he grabbed his laptop bag and got on the bed.

Chanyeol was still standing near the cabinet. Like time was frozen.

“I asked are you okay?” Baekhyun’s voice was loud enough to break his train of thoughts.

“Yah yah am alright...il go just for a shower”

Baekhyun hummed in response he was already drowning himself in work. 

Drying his hair Chanyeol flipped through a few travel magazines from the rack, he walked to the balcony trying to focus on the stunningly lit garden of the hotel.

Baekhyun was on a call and arguing about something which made him feel even more restless he needed to calm his nerves and staying in the room right now made it hard.

He waited till the other was done with the call

“I am going out for a drink” 

Baekhyun looked up at him through his reading glasses settled on the bridge of his nose, he nodded slightly before focusing his attention back to the laptop.

Chanyeol grabbed his coat and left.

      

                          ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

  

 **Chanyeol and Sehun**

 

Chanyeol came down to the Mezzanine Bar for a drink. Sitting on the bar stool he looked around the place. It was filled with men and women of all age enjoying their drinks.

“A bourbon manhattan please” he hoped that the soft amber liquid would help the memories go away.

The bar tender placed the drink in front of him on the counter with a mechanical smile and an “Enjoy your evening Sir”

Chanyeol swirled the drink in his glass, listening to the clinking of the ice cubes, breathing in the fragrance, yet that soft face, those crescent eyes was etched in his mind. He took a sip of the liquid letting it settle in his mouth before swallowing. He closed his eyes and dwelled on the flavour. He slowly drowned himself in the bittersweet taste and the music which played in the background.

_‘Recollect me darling, raise me to your lips_

_Two undernourished egos, four rotating hips_

_Hold on to me tightly, I'm a sliding scale_

_Can't endure, then you can inhale clearly_

_Out of body experience interferes_

_And dreams of flying, I fit nearly_

_Surrounds me, though I get lonely slowly’_

“Chanyeol” a very strange familiar voice called out with a light pressure of hands on his shoulder.

He immediately looked up to see Sehun standing, his body seemed to be less coordinated and his eyes droopy. He leaned closer to Chanyeol and slurred “am s-so drunk” his feet wobbled a little. 

Chanyeol quickly grabbed Sehun by his waist so he did not trip.

Chanyeol sighed inwardly. He couldn’t believe he was taking care of his drunk ex-boyfriend. Sehun has always been a light weight, back in college he had a lot of experience dealing with a wasted Sehun. But this was different he wasn’t Chanyeol’s anymore. He felt angry towards the other guy he had seen with Sehun previously...how did he allow him to get in this state in the hotel.

He asked for a glass of water from the bar, he made the other sit on the stool and held him by his shoulder with one hand and bringing the the glass to his lips Chanyeol ordered him to drink. 

Taking a few swig the water dripped from his lips, out of instinct Chanyeol swiped off the water from the corner of Sehun’s mouth with his thumb. Sehun let out a soft giggle.

Chanyeol was once so in love with thisboy. It had been 2 years they hadn’t seen each other or because Sehun didn’t want to see him. Swallowing the hurt he propped Sehun up,The younger’s head lolled to the side on his shoulder. 

Dragging Sehun who was close to his own height was a tough job not that he hasn’t done before. But he didn’t know his way around the hotel. His own head buzzed with the alcohol and faint scent of the cologne coming from the younger’s body. It all felt confusing. He just needed to get Sehun back to his room and that was it. 

Finally he managed to get on the elevator with the help of a hotel staff. As soon as they got inside Sehun pressed on a different floor and the elevator stopped.

“What are you doing Sehun?”

Sehun grabbed his hand and pulled him to a place which looked more like a designated area for the housekeeping staff. Sehun staggered in his step he pushed Chanyeol, until his back hit something stiff and hard. It was a huge rack filled with the bedding.

Sehun moved closer to the older placing his palm on both sides to balance himself. His head was already spinning.

“I want you” the words tumbled out of his lips. Chanyeol’s breath hitched. 

“Sehun...stop I have a boyfriend and I guess you do too. This is wrong you are drunk...please listen to me” he tried his best to make it sound rational and convincing he needed Sehun to understand or maybe he himself needed the understanding.

“Call me Se...that’s what you used t-to call me” 

Sehun leaned in and kissed Chanyeol’s warm lips. The smell of alcohol and Sehun’s familiar taste was flooding Chanyeol’s senses but he pulled apart taking a shaky shallow breath. He watched the younger’s body tremble, his lips kept murmuring“please” 

“Se” Chanyeol huskily let out the nickname he had once given to Sehun. 

Unable to control himself he held Sehun’s head in his hands and pulled him into a fiery and passionate kiss. His hands worked their way around the younger’s body, feeling each crevasses that he was so used to touching and loving.

Sehun’s arm reached up and tangled around the others strong neck, he pressed his tongue into the seam of Chanyeol’s lips. A moan escaped Chanyeol’s mouth.

Sehun’s hand slowly tugged on the waistband of the older’s jeans. He fumbled with thebutton. Still reeling from the kiss Chanyeol grabbed Sehun’s hand to stop him.

“Se stop..this is wrong” even though his senses of right and wrong were all muddled inside his brain. 

“He is not my boyfriend...and I-i don’t care” Sehun’s voice came out muffled as he pressed open mouthed kisses along Chanyeol’s jawline.

Chanyeol instantly pulled away. Hands still gripped on the others waist because he didn’t want Sehun to fall.

 

“I care Sehun...I care about my boyfriend”

“No you don’t” Sehun looked at him with blazing eyes. Chanyeol thought maybe the other had changed but nah he was still the immature boy he used to be.

“You broke up with me...you left me..and now I am with someone else. Please understand” Chanyeol replied tiredly. He needed to get away from this.

“D-don’t go” Sehun tried to lean in closer but Chanyeol stopped him. He can’t let this get anymore messed up than it already is. 

“Sehun listen” his voice came out harsher than he expected. “ I. love. him. I . love. Baekhyun” he enunciated each word hoping that Sehun would understand.

Anger, hurt jealousy flashed on Sehun’s expressive eyes. Tears rolled downhis cheek. 

Chanyeol’s heart sank but he had to do it. He slowly let go off Sehun’s shoulder and walked away without sparing a glance to the boy he never in his life thought of hurting. 

Sehun slid down on the floor, he hid his face with the palm of his hands and letting his tears flow uncontrollably.

 

                         ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

**Jongin and Kyungsoo**

 

Kyungsoo walked out of the hotel gate, he lit up a cigarette. It was like his own secret, his comfort, his consistency. With every drag he remembered all the things he shouldn’t do in his life.

 

“It’s you” a voice called out making Kyungsoo look back. It was the same boy from the morning and the pool. But the boy looked kind of distressed and worried. His blonde hair disheveled his tshirt creased. Yet he managed to look perfect in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

Without saying anything he offered the cigarette to the boy who was staring at him curiously. But he took the stick and placed it in between his plump lips. He inhaled deeply letting the smoke seep into his throat then itblew out from his mouth. Kyungsoo watched the ribbon of smoke twist into the air.

“What are you doing here at this time” it was midnight. Or even late Kyungsoo didn’t care...Heejin wouldn’t care if he wasn’t in the room either.

“I was looking for someone” He muttered, his eyes staring at the nothing in front of them.

“Your boyfriend?” Kyungsoo knew it wasn’t his to pry but the words just slipped out.

“Boyfriend?” The boy let out a humourless chuckle, and replied “I don’t think he wants to be my boyfriend” his tone was filled with hurt. 

Kyungsoo looked at him, the boy’s eyes were glistening with tears...reflecting the street lights.

“I am Kyungsoo by the way” he stretched out his hand to the other.

Blonde boy turned around and took his hand in his own. “Jongin...my name is Kim Jongin” 

They didn’t shake hands and neither of them pulled their hands apart, it didn’t feel uncomfortable...more like it felt right. 

Kyungsoo’s phone started ringing, like a reminder that he shouldn’t be holding a boy’s hand. He let go of Jongin’s hold and immediately missed the warmth. He took out the phone from his pocket and switched it off.

“Won’t you take the call?” Jongin enquired.

“No it’s not important”

“This has got to be some weird coincidence, I am seeing you for the 3rd time in a day...and we don’t even know each other” Jongin’s face had a childish glee to it. 

“You saw me in the pool side?” Kyungsoo could feel his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. He didn’t want Jongin to think he was weird.

“Yah I noticed with the girl...is she your girlfriend?” It was a simple question yet Kyungsoo’s stomach churned. 

“Yes something like that”

They fell into a comfortable silence. Kyungsoo liked how he felt alive with a complete stranger by his side than what he felteveryday surrounded by people he knew. 

“You know I thought that he loved me...I was so wrong” Jongin murmured after a long time. 

“What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know I really don’t” Jongin’s voice cracked. 

Kyungsoo wanted to reach out and comfort the other but he didn’t know how.

“I think you should fight for the one you love....I didn’t..I let go of the only person who truly loved me for who I am...and I let” his breath faltered, “ I let him go because I was scared” his eyes fixed on the engagement ring on his finger. A constant reminder that he wasn’t supposed to know what real love is.

“I am ready to fight but there is nothing left...he doesn’t want me not even a little”

“Life is a fucking bitch” Kyungsoo deadpanned.

Jongin immediately turned to him with a startled expression and started laughing. “I didn’t expect you to say something like this you look so prim and proper...and I can’t believe am laughing I just got dumped” he felt drunk withoutany drop of alcohol in his system. 

Seeing Jongin’s infectious smile Kyungsoo smiled back shaking his head.

“You have a beautiful smile” Jongin’s voice was low and husky.

Kyungsoo looked up. He had heard quite a few times in his life that his unique heart shaped lips were pretty and his smile was nice but this was the first time his heart fluttered with the compliment.

Kyungsoo took off his jacket and draped it around Jongin who only dressed in a thin tshirt was shivering. 

“Goodnight Jongin...take care” saying Kyungsoo started towalk back to the hotel.

“Kyungsoo” 

“Wait” 

Hearing his name from the others mouth for the first and probably the last time made him stop in his tracks.

Jongin ran towards him and pulled him into a hug, he mumbled a quiet thank you.

This was overwhelming for Kyungsoo but he wrapped his arms around the others waist. Indulging himself in the smell,warmth and comfort radiating off Jongin.

Jongin brought his lips lower so he could reachKyungsoo’s face and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

 

“Goodbye Kyungsoo”

               

                         ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

 **Chanyeol and Baekhyun**  

 

Chanyeol came back to his room...Baekhyun was sitting on the bed his laptop opened in front of him...some papers and files scattered all over the mattress.

He was hoping that his boyfriend would have slept, he really wasn’t in the mood to talk right now.

Chanyeol grabbed the water bottle from the bedside table,unscrewing the cap he drank a few gulps of water to swallow all the anger, regret, hurt and every other emotion that was swirling inside him.

“Where were you?” Baekhyun’s asked flatly.

“I told you I went to the bar for a drink” screwing the cap on the bottle he placed it back on the table.

“With your ex-boyfriend?”

“What?” Chanyeol felt like his throat drying inspite of just drinking water. He watched Baekhyun whose face was devoid of any emotion. 

“Your sister once showed me your college album, and there were pictures of him and you...doesn’t exactly take a genius to guess..I remembered his face..a very pretty face indeed. It’s hard to forget isn’t it ?” Each and every word from Baekhyun’s mouth came off as a slap to Chanyeol’s cheek. 

Closing his eyes, he bit on his lip trying to compose himself. He sat down on the bed. Today morning he had made love to his boyfriend in this same bed and now he had to talk about his ex boyfriend to Baekhyun.

The irony.

“I didn’t know he was going to be at the bar...he came to me all drunk...he couldn’t even walk properly...I had to-“

“You had to wat? Take care of your poor little ex as if he didn’t leave you years back?” Baekhyun’s voice was dripping with anger and sarcasm.

Chanyeol stayed quiet. It was not like Baekhyun was wrong.

Shutting his laptop off harshly Baekhyun spat out “tell me Chanyeol how you took care of your ex while I waited for you here to come back....because this is our vacation”

Oh god it hurt...it hurt him more that he had hurt Baekhyun.

He ended up hurting two people in the same night, so much for trying to make promises about never causing pain to the one he love...loved.

“Do you honestly want to know everything?” Chanyeol himself couldn’t recognise his voice because it came out so broken. 

He could feel the tears spilling from his eyes. He had heard Sehun’s cry even when he left. It kept ringing in his ears. Now he could see the anger and pain painted on Baekhyun’s face.

This was probably the first time Baekhyun had seen his boyfriend crying, his expression softened a little he slowly shifted towards Chanyeol their knees touching slightly.

“D-do you still like him?”

“Would you believe if I say no?” Chanyeol asked looking straight into Baekhyun’s eyes’s. 

“No I won’t” Baekhyun’s voice trembled.

Chanyeol rested his head on the wall,pulling his knees together and wrapping his arms around it. Inspite of the perfect warm room temperature he felt so so cold. 

“Do you love him?” Baekhyun could feel his insides scorching almost making him sick to the stomach.

After a few agonising seconds Chanyeol replied his eyes closed “I wouldn’t be here right now if I loved him” 

“Then why are you here”

Chanyeol opened his eyes slowly, he was feeling so tired...he stared at Baekhyun, the man who had taught him how to love again, made him believe that second chances exist when he though he had no hopes.

“Because I love you...I love you so much” he knew saying it in words would fall short but he didn’t have any choice.

Baekhyun moved even closer he brushed the lock away from Chanyeol’s forehead. His lips curved into a sweet but sad smile.

“I love you too Park Chanyeol”

“Do you still want to know what happened il tell you...I don’t want to keep any secrets from you ever” more tears fell from his eyes streaking his cheeks. 

“No I don’t...let the past be past” he cupped Chanyeol’s face in his hands and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. Baekhyun could taste the salty bitter taste of the tears but he didn’t know whose tears was it anymore.

 

                         ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

**Jongin and Sehun**

 

Jongin glanced at his phone the LED screen flashed 2:00. He came back to his room hoping to shut his eye,because sleep was something he didnt expect to come to him today. In the dim light of the room, he saw Sehun curled up on the bed, his long legs folded near his chest. He looked so small and fragile to Jongin.

He slowly pulled the duvet over the boy trying to avoid to look at his face. 

“Jongin” Sehun’s voice was throaty..was he crying? Jongin turned around. 

Sehun sat up and patted the space beside him gesturing for Jongin to sit. Hesitating he got up on the bed. Leaving a gap between them.

“I-I kissed him”

Jongin closed his eyes shut. He didn’t need to ask who he knew. 

“I hurt him...I left him..and now he said he is happy and in love with his boyfriend” Sehun said doefully.

Jongin took a glimpse of the others crestfallen face, his heart sank immediately.

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know....I know that I only know how to hurt people” soft sobs escaped his mouth. 

Without saying anything Jongin pulled him into a tight hug and he watched Sehun shake with grief, tears flowing unchecked, there was part of him breaking too. 

Sehun kept murmuring sorry repeatedly.

Jongin was sorry too...he was sorry for Sehun he was sorry for himself. 

They didn’t how long time had passed, when Sehun’s voice came muffled from under the cover, “Jongin I have decided to go back to Korea in the morning” 

Was he asking if that’s okay with him or was he asking him to come along or was he simply just stating his decision? Jongin’s befuddled brain felt too useless to understand. 

“Sure whatever you want” saying he turned to the other side facing the creme coloured wall.

 

Jongin finally realised that hearts don't snap like brittle caramel or burst like a balloon being popped with a nail. A heart breaks in the heaving waves of a new disturbing reality that has arrived uninvited.

        

                         ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

 

**Kyungsoo and Heejin**

 

It was almost time for their check out, Heejin standing in front of the mirror fixed her hair letting it drape around her face carefully. Kyungsoo looked over the room for the last time to see if they had left anything behind. The bell boy placed all their luggage on the trolley and left followed by Heejin.

Kyungsoo glanced at the room and realised he was only leaving a memory that was only for him to relish.

Reaching the lobby they were greeted by the front office staff in the counter. Jongdae smiled and engaged Heejin in a conversation while the other female staff did their check-out.

“Ma’am did you enjoy the Fukuoka tower you wanted to visit?” Jongdae asked.

“Oh no my fiancé here refused to go yesterday because it was raining” Heejin said accusingly pointing to Kyungsoo.

“It’s alright ma’am maybe next time you can comeback and visit, as I said the view from the tower is amazing”

“He is right it’s actually beyond beautiful...we loved it” a new soft voice replied.

It was a man around Kyungsoo’s own height. He had delicate features, yet a confident aura around him.

Jongdae immediately smiled looking at the guy “ glad you enjoyed sir”

The guy was dressed in shorts and tshirt, a towel around his neck and a water bottle in his hand probably he just came out of the gym.

“I am Baekhyun” His smile was bright and friendly.

“I am Heejin and this is my fiancé Kyungsoo” she replied extending her hand towards him. Kyungsoo wished he would be able to introduce her so easily to strangers someday. That he would stop cringing at the word fiancé every time he heard it from her mouth.

Kyungsoo gently nodded along listening to them talking about the hotel or was it the city? His mind wandered off to last night. He hoped to see Jongin at least once before he left.

“You said we enjoyed the view, did you visit with your girlfriend”

“No I went with my boyfriend” the man replied.

Kyungsoo’s eyes shifted to Heejin’s whose expression automatically became uncomfortable.

She feigned a smile in return which looked extremely fake.

Heejin nudged Kyungsoo’s hand, “lets go our car is probably here”

Kyungsoo apologetically looked at Baekhyun who seemed unnerved of Heejin’s very unsubtle behaviour as if he was used to people like this. Kyungsoo didn’t want the other to think that he fell in the same category.

“Have a great day Baekhyun...and enjoy the rest of your trip with your boyfriend” Kyungsoo responded ignoring Heejin.

“You too have a great day” saying he walked off towards the guest elevator.

 

Soft splashing water droplets hit the car windows as they headed towards the airport.Even though long car rides usually felt tedious to Kyungsoo the rain seemed to have a calming effect on him, Heejin was busy talking to her mother on phone...he tuned her voice out and traced his fingers along the raindrops racing down to the windows.

The last time he visited Japan was back in high school it was one of their annual school trip. He still remembers sneaking out at night from the dorm and roaming around the streets aimlessly with Minseok.

There was no escaping from the memories that was attached to the name it wasn’t like an illness that could be fixed like his dad wanted him.

After that trip his dad made sure that Minseok wasn’t allowed anywhere near Kyungsoo any more because boys don’t walk around hand in hand and they definitely don’t steal a kiss hiding behind a tree.

Kyungsoo didn’t know how his dad knew but he never asked. He didn’t object when he was told not see the ‘filthy boy’ anymore that’s how his dad phrased it. He didn’t even look up when Minseok waited outside his house for hours to see him just once.

Minseok was the only person who had accepted him for who he was and loved him unconditionally and he had let him go.

The guilt, hurt was like a gasoline in his lungs he let it burn his insides until there was nothing left of him. He had shut off all his emotions like a light switch and decided to go along as he was expected of being the son of his father. He had a reputation to hold on to.

 

They said we are never trapped unless we choose to be and Kyungsoo had chosen this for himself he had no one to blame.

                        ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

  

Friends, lovers, or nothing  
There can only be one  
Friends, lovers, or nothing  
There'll never be an in between  
So give it up 

We'll never the in between  
So give it up

Anything other than a yes is no  
Anything other than stayin' is go  
Anything less than I love you, is lying

\- Friends, lovers or nothing (John Mayer) 

**Author's Note:**

> okay someone hold me from writing all these angst :( I hope I didn't mess up with the details of Japan I have never been there, I just researched from the Internet so sorry if I made any mistakes.  
> Feedback is much appreciated.


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